Saturday, May 14, 2011

I'm worse than Bob!

I just had a 15 minute stare down with a ginormous spider here at my parents' house in the woods of rural Alabama.  It was on the wall, but not a flat wall where I could slap it and kill it with a shoe.  No, it was on the one "original" walls of this shed turned "bunk house/cottage" that has deep and wide indentions, so I couldn't get to it til it crawled to the floor.  I had NO weapons other than some decorative mugs my mom had put out here, so my plan was to just cover it with a mug since I cringe at the thought of a crushed bug underfoot, not to mention the size of its big black body was like my ring finger knuckle!  Well, slow poke spider decided to gain some speed all of a sudden, thankfully in the direction opposite me, but unfortunately that put him back on the wall.  Ugh!  I stood there and stood there watching it, because there was NO WAY I could go to sleep out here with that thing still alive, but if I left the bathroom to get a better weapon he'd totally seize the opportunity for a quick escape.  At the last minute, as it crawled across the door to my bedroom, and just before I started to scream and yell "DIE!" I got in a few good sprays with my Nioxin Root Lifter.  It was either that or my Clinique Happy and the root lifter is less expensive, plus it's not in a glass bottle lest it be dropped in the midst of battle.  I'm not sure if it was the stickiness, the fumes, or simply the shock from the spray, but the awful beast slowed down enough for me to yell "die" several more times and squirt it incessantly until he made his way back to the ground where I was poised with the Better Homes & Gardens mug.  Who knows if its dead or alive, but I am certain that I'll be safe for the night.  Ah, what an adrenaline rush!


Assuming the nasty thing is still there in the morning, I may post some pictures.  Either way, I hope Bob never has to stay in the bunkhouse alone.  He'd never make it out alive.